Well, I have been sitting here playing on the computer and trying to decide what I want to say for an hour now so I guess here it goes. I am remembering so much pain that we had this time last year... but it's hard not to. Chad passed away a year ago tonight and I am having a hard time. I have been trying to remember the good and to be positive like some people say but it isn't working. I miss my parent and Sheena and Angela so much right now I can't stand it and I wish we were all together. Vanessa and I will go the the cemetery tomorrow and put some flowers on his grave. I am so grateful I have her to go do that with!! At least we have each other.
Chad and I got the opportunity in the last months of his life to build a relationship that I am so grateful for!! I stay up late and he worked nights so he would call me or I would call him because we knew each other was up. He was dealing with a lot and had a lot of pain and I am so grateful that I was able to be there for him. That means so much to me now and I appreciate that opportunity to grow closer to him. To help and love him!! He was a wonderful man and good father who loved his kids. He was a great big brother and I have many fond memories of our childhood!! I will never forget his loud, boisterous, throw your head back, laugh and his big smile. I have a million memories running thought my mind and they are good, but it still hurts. Chad is never far from my thoughts and I know he is looking down at us worrying and caring for us. I can't wait to see him again someday and I know that will happen. Chad loved the Lord, and church was so important in his life. Our family is broken, battered, and bruised without you Chad, but we will continue on and you are never far from our thoughts. They say time heals....I suppose it has gotten a bit better... but we will see. Till we meet again big brother, I love you!! Here is our most recent and our last family picture we will have as a whole family. It has become very precious to me and I will cherish it for the rest of my life. It was taken in the summer of 2007. I don't know if you know this but if you click in these pictures they will get bigger.
3 comments:
The pain and hurt is still so deep. We all wish we could be together today but you and Vanessa will be in our thoughts and prayers. As you put flowers out for Chad today remember us ok. We all love and miss you so much!
I love you Christina!
I am glad we had each other today. I think that we take the fact that we live close for granted some times and i want you to know that i am happy that i have you here. I love you!
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